Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
