Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
