Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
