Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
