the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize