Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
