No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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