are you so shy because you have an std?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize