I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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