Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
