so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
