Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
