I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
