if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish you could order shots online.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
