So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
