i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
