If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
