What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
