at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
BRING THE BAGELS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
