HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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