Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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