I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
