I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
