As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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