it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
