dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
