i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Michael Bay diarrhea
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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