you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
