let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
should my penis look like a turkey
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
