u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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