i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
