just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
