I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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