it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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