do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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