Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
