remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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