Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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