it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
