To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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