Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
cat food counts as protein by the way
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
