How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you never un-have a 4some
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
