We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
