only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Houston, we have a blender
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
