Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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