Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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