If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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