were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
