The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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