Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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