Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't deserve a penis
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
