He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
