the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
not ubering you a puppy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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