quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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