The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
