idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my shit smells like andre
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
