somebody snuck up and got me drunk
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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