Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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