Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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