It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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